Something that turns me on (life boner, not bedroom boner) to no avail are character dualities – those seemingly contradictory behaviours that exist in total opposition (but total harmony) within each of us. People with hard exteriors that cry in films; ladies who drop profanities like it’s hot, and classic type a hippies. It makes me so realise that these internal constructs don’t exist in complete seperation from one another and have mutual exclusivity – but rather they dance in a perfect tango to accentuate the depth of our individuality and our human-ism. Life boner, right?
Today’s rambling introduction is brought to you by the new year, the perfect playground for my unique duality to come and play. One on hand – I’m a bonafide hippie with a total belief in the power of now and a questioning of any abstract concepts of time a linear construct. On the other – I am an absolute type A personality who is organised, goal orientated, objective focussed and a hustler. So this time of year which emily leads the way? The hybrid, the middle ground, the balance and surrender between yin and yang. If you are nodding your head the screen and shouting “girl, that’s me too! How do I possibly navigate this tug o’ war of energies?!”, don’t worry I got chu.
The answer, I believe, is goals with soul. Goals that are infused with kindness, growth, oneness, presence and consciousness. Using this time of year and the momentum of our current energies to channel your truth and ignite positive change where you can. I’ve written a gazillion posts (here | here | here) in the past on the power of words, goal setting and the incredible works of Danielle Laporte who flips the goal creation process on its head and focuses first on unlocking your core desired feelings before delving into the tangible “run a marathon” goals. This process encourages a sort of top down way of establishing your goals – rather than focusing on the means to an end. For example – let’s unpack some of the more common new year goals and aspirations – join a gym, read more, go out more, join a pottery class … whatever your little dreams are, Danielle encourages you to take a witnessing step back to tease apart WHY this made it to your goals list. How do each of these reflect a core desired feeling that you might be craving at a deeper level? ‘Join a gym’ might reflect a craving for Health/Vitality – and by instead setting these core desired feelings as your “goals” you can ensure that the series of steps and opportunities that you are exposed to can align with these desires! Deciding between fries or salad – which one reflects your “vibrant health” desired feeling; wanting to catch up with a friend and deciding whether to meet at a bar or for a walk – use your core desired feeling as an indicator for your priorities. The same can be done for the other goals if you suss out what our desired feeling is at the heart of them – read more (knowledge, wisdom, culture); go out more (social, connection, love); join a pottery class (self expression, creativity, community).
By being guided by a power word instead of a concrete goal//to do list item – we allow a little more kindness and wiggle room. Think of it as your “cushion for the (energetic) pushin”. Typically within the goal setting process – we use the fire and inspiration of a fresh start, have that fuel our goal selection and superman “can do” attitude, are carried by the momentum for the first few days, then wane a little and eventually throw in the towel and declare ourselves a “failure”, berating all of our efforts and lack of potential. Not always, but often. Right? The core desired feeling way of shakin things up is by ensuring there’s still momentum and inspiration and conscious intent but no “failure” as there’s nothing concrete to use as a marker for our success. Our words encourage us to evaluate what will bring us closer to, and bring about, our desired feelings and therefore every single day even the most mundane and seemingly unrelated tasks may be ingraining those behaviours and actions. Let’s just go with the run a marathon goal, which we shift and reword to reveal a desire for “strength” “health” “power” – you might find that using these words actually GETS you out of bed, gets you fuelling your body right, invites a little accountability and honesty into your decision making processes, sees you smash the running because it actualises your desires for “strength” and “power” but also sees you incorporate tasks that build on emotional strength and resilience too because they also feed this innate desire. Do you see where I’m going here? Allow feelings to take the wheel and guide your decisions and goals and aspirations and you will quickly learn that a feeling is one of the most powerful indicators of TRUE desire and, if you use them wisely, can see momentous change and magic weave it’s way into your life.
Start by perhaps doing a word vomit onto paper of all the ways you desire to feel in 2017. Don’t hold back. Let ‘er rip! Then start to notice any overlap or clusters of desired feelings – group these together and choose a word that best captures their power. For example you might have “beauty” “femininity” “allure” – could you capture these under the umbrella desire to feel “Radiant”? Whittle the list down to your 5 or 6 most enticing words – those that light a fire in your belly and see you clambering for their manifestation in your life – and put ’em errywhere. In your room, in your diary, on a card in your wallet, on the background of your phone. Wherever you will see and be reminded of your desires and can use these as benchmarks for your daily actions.
Words hold power. Feelings hold INTENSE capacity for growth, change and transformation. Cultivate these gifts and reap the rewards in 2017.
So, hit me with it, what are YOUR words for this year? Let’s ignite radical change in our lives and have this be your most soul driven, heart directed and successful (in every sense of the word) year ever!
Blessings and so many fucking words x