It seems like a no brainer. We have been told since we were knee high to a grasshopper – ‘just be yourself‘. But it kind of always seemed to follow up with a ‘oh but not like that!‘. We have been tiptoeing this fine line of authentic self expression, and acceptable member of society. Acceptable is probably the wrong word – because unacceptable behaviour is sometimes truly unacceptable and I ain’t condoning that you write off any belittling, harmful or disrespectful behaviour as just ‘being yourself’. I mean more acceptable in the sense of conventional//normative behaviour (aka ‘vanilla’ and bland as fuck).
Although the world is decorated with people in all shapes, sizes, flavours and varieties – it seems that so often we hold ourselves to a tiny representative sliver of the planet, to an (often unrealistic) ideal and one that just doesn’t truly capture all that we are (spoiler alert: it’s ‘fabulous‘. ‘Fabulous‘ is what we truly are). With the rise and power of social media platforms, where contrived and often edited ‘highlights’ of one’s life are captured, curated and shared – it’s no wonder that on a shitty day when we are playing the comparison game, that we feel we come up short. Any form of comparison, even to real life examples of people (and not just social media representations), is detrimental to our happiness and health. Actually let me rephrase, any form of comparison that leaves you feeling less, lacking, inadequate or, for lack of a better word, shitty, about yourself is detrimental. Looking at the life of someone else who perhaps captures an aspect of your own life that you desire, or wish to sprinkle a little renewed energy or magic within, and that you feel energised to align with and redirect towards – ain’t a bad thing.
The thing about comparing, and there’s an age old little saying that captures this so perfectly, is that it’s kind of pointless to compare ‘apples and oranges’. As humans we are multi-faceted and complex little beings, and to put us next to one another side by side and compare a singular aspect of our physical or material selves is just nutso. By singling out that one aspect we, in turn, ignore these other variables and intricacies that make us well, us. Real life example? Comparing your physical body to that of another; comparing your stage in life to others around you; comparing careers to that of your mate’s. Widdling down your entire experience and expression to that one tangible aspect of yourself – and then comparing your one aspect to someone else’s singular aspect – makes for too much craziness for anyone’s good.
Wherever you find yourself on your journey and however you find yourself expressing that truth – is where you are undeniably meant to be at this point in time. Sure, you can set intentions and forge a new path//course for yourself as you try and improve and become the very best version of you – but to sit first, in total acceptance and love for this space that we find ourselves in, is the most powerful thing you can do. Erry day, we are doing the best with what we have got. Some days that might look amazing, and other days it might look a little funky. Just use the opportunity, when you are still and with your thoughts, to place your hand over your heart, tune into whether you spent the day in alignment with what you wish to see//experience and whether you were present in your day. If you were – great. If you weren’t – great, it’s an opportunity to recalibrate and rejig whatever was feeling a little off.
Own this life of yours, every aspect of it. Seek to grow and flourish and evolve, but always within your own right. Not in competition with old mate on your left, or @instababe1000. Just within yourself and for yourself.
Blessings and all of me x
Image sourced here |