For those of you who perhaps might become uncomfortable with the more sensitive nature of today’s topic or it’s not really your bag (*cough* family *cough*) perhaps lovingly close this tab and head to one of the other, less kinky posts, of BTM.
So today is more of a brave, bold, badass move on my part and I am kind of just dragging you all along for the ride. Basically in a recent conversation with a friend, the topic of sex and intimacy came up (as it do during a gossip sesh) and it was suggested that I post about what we were discussing. I immediately dismissed her suggestion with a ‘hell no‘ followed even more immediately with a little voice in my head that said ‘but … why?’. Anyone that knows me knows that I’m not shy of discussing anything and everything, nothing is taboo and I truly believe in the stellar importance of honesty and authenticity in EVERY area of our lives – but especially when it comes to the boudoir. I believe that acknowledging, exploring and owning your sexuality is an absolute must for anyone who a) wants to grow//evolve, b) wants to enjoy the crap out of their lives and c) wants to live a more fulfilling, joyous and creative life. Oh and d) wants to have giant o’gasms. So aren’t I just perpetuating the taboo and shame cycle by not voicing my truth and beliefs? Uh huh, methinks I am. I believe, as my favourite ever in the world quote suggests, that we need to be the change we wish to see in the world – I want to see tabooed stigma and ‘hush hush’ed connotations of sex and sexuality dropped – so I’m starting here. Right now. And what better way than to start off this (what’s sure to be the first of many) sexy post, with a today’s exploration of libido and gettin’ in the mood. So, strap in (not on) and enjoy this cheeky little reconnaissance of the pre-phase of the sexy times.
The fact is, sex is kind of important. Without it we legit wouldn’t be here. And without it life would be pretty dang dull. We sweep it under the rug, impose shame and often ridicule on people who personify or advocate for its importance and why? When explored a consensual and safe environment (either solo or with a spouse//partner//butt buddy) – it fosters joy, connection and love.
Some people are up and ready for it 24/7. Some could go months without it. Some cultures are a lot more open and forthcoming about it. Some recognise it as serving solely for procreation. Our sexual blueprint is one that is somewhat influenced by both nature and nurture – the family we were raised in, the beliefs and attitudes of our society, exposure, experiences etcetera. And then there’s the irrefutable and delicious fact that EVERYONE comes with their own unique opinions, passions, kinks, fetishes and attitudes towards gettin’ down and dirty. I, for one, love that. I love that everyone’s sexual style is individual and that we all come with our own lil flavour.
But I can definitely attest the notion that your libido, sexuality and desires often serve as a barometer (to quote SATC) for what is going on elsewhere. It makes sense right? The times in which we are overworked, burnt out, sick, feel undesirable, aren’t of our best and most vibrant health … of course we don’t feel like playing hide the pickle. But when you’re high vibing, happy in yourself and your environment, are with someone who lights your fire, chances are you can’t wait for the chance to spend a few hours in between the sheets (or wherever floats your boat really). And it kind of works in reverse too. When you have tapped into and unblocked your sexual chi, you find that this vivacious approach to life and connection spills out across all aspects of your days. Like attracts like, and when you’re oozing sexuality, creativity and good ass vibes (good-ass vibes, not good ass-vibes, although both are kind of fitting) – life becomes just that little more rich.
Your homework this week? To figure out what makes you feel sexy. What gets your engine revving? What leaves you feeling like a sexy little nymph Goddess//God? Next part of your homework? Amp up the presence of those aphrodisiacs in your everyday rituals. Cultivate a little of that sensual energy and infuse it into everything you do – walk sexy, cook sexily, wear your naughty lingerie to bed (even if you’re in bed solo). That energy is potent and magnetic and creative and brilliant. Use it and watch it amplify and manifest into an extraordinary life. I promise.
Blessings and lady boners x