You know how it’s often said that the Universe presents us with recurring situations and themes until we learn the lessons that we are destined to learn? Well, consider me a forever-student of these universal lessons, because I am definitely becoming more and more observant of these synchronicities and underlying messages of the seemingly mundane situations that have been unfolding. Today I want to explore, share and unpack one of the biggens – owning our emotional messes. Do you often beat yourself up if you’re having a bad day, if you’re not keeping your shit together like you think you ‘should’, or if your messy life doesn’t seem to compare to the glittery and perfect lives of those around you? Yeah, me too. So let’s dive in together darling and let’s emerge from these lessons unapologetically messy.
Humans are weird. I get that. We are multifaceted, spiritual/physical beings, who rarely feel like we know what’s up. We tend to adopt shit-coloured glasses that taint our perception of what is actually a pretty perfect world//life//experience. This article blew me away – it so perfectly summarises just how bloody blessed we are and how often these gifts are overlooked or suppressed – um, hell no. Let’s pause, acknowledge and give thanks. But more often than not, we slink back into neggy bug town and see everything as a little too ‘woe is me’. That’s just how we are. Or rather, how we’ve been conditioned to be. But as all metaphysical and new age philosophers will passionately share with you – change your thoughts and change your world. Adopt a more positive mindset and just brace yourself for an onslaught of more positive experiences and opportunities. I know personally that some of the best experiences of my life have come to fruition at a time when I was just being my high vibing, positive self and not allowing myself to surrender to the negative thoughts or opinions that are often being thwart upon us. Let your soulshine sparkles and watch the universe deliver. Seriously.
In saying that though, I’m writing us all a big fat permission slip to crumble. To fall apart, lose our shiz, crack, cry, scream, fall and surrender. Because life is all about dem cycles and rhythms – the highs and the lows. So why do we so often mask the lows? Lows are a shade of paint that we just as much need on the canvas of our lives to create a dynamic, rich picture. The high vibing happy colours are awesome, but the low vibing sad tones are just as important and help to define us, our story and our experiences. They often lead us to the most poignant lessons and truths of our lives, these winds of change often help to steer us in a new (and would-be undiscovered) direction and they ultimately instil a sense of profound gratitude and joy when the fog lifts and the happy times return.
ACTION STEP – Be human and give yourself permission to experience the full spectrum of emotions!
We often fall into the trap of being ‘guilted’ by our emotional experiences. If you find yourself feeling down, this might be met with anger or guilt that you ‘shouldn’t feel sad!’ or that you ‘should be able to snap out of it’. And, before you know it, it’ll feel like you’ve downed an emotional cocktail rather than a straight up shot of sadness. The full gammet of human emotion is vast – jealousy, joy, anger, sadness, peace, love, hatred … they exists in all their blazing glory within all of us. And, despite our best efforts, they pop up and maybe linger from time to time. Don’t shoot the messenger, they come with a purpose – to help us to grow, to learn, to peel off the layers of ourselves.
How to – The next time your experiencing (and that’s all it is, an experience) an emotion – acknowledge, identify, explore and thank it. For example, and full disclosure, I have been a bit of a sadpants this week, for a number of reasons. And I have given myself a heart-soaked permission slip to just ‘be’.
+ I acknowledge that I am feeling off
+ I try to identify how I am feeling – I feel sad; I feel upset; I feel hurt. Your choice in language is HUGE here, be mindful not to personify the emotion too much by saying ‘I am sad’. You’re not sad, you feel sad, you are experiencing sadness, but YOU are not ‘sad’. That implies a more permanent or unchangeable state.
+ I explore the sensations – What is going on in my life that may be contributing to these sensations? Are they rational triggers? Can I do anything to alleviate or mend the ’cause’ or trigger experience?
+ I thank the emotion that is up in the driver’s seat, but lovingly grab the wheel – Our emotions carry with them lessons and messages. Thank them for that. Continuing with the example of sadness, thank sadness for showing up and perhaps highlighting or bringing attention to an area of your life that isn’t bringing you the joy that it once did, or acknowledging that sometimes these emotions show to teach us about their counterpart (when Izzie died, I reassured myself that the pain I experienced was a beautiful reminder of the love that once filled that space. The pain was so great because the love and joy of having her in my life were so great – and I became grateful and thankful that I was able to experience such goodness in my life.
I am not just my happy memories. I’m a gorgeous, messy, all encompassing amalgamation of happiness, sadness, fear, bravery, elation, connection, heartbreak, lightness and darkness. I own that. And I believe there’s a huge power in owning it. Self acceptance, complete and total self acceptance, fosters a greater appreciation of one’s self and all that we represent. So be messy, colourful and ecletic blend of colours on a canvas. Ain’t nobody wants to live a monochrome life. Live in the light, acknowledge and befriend the dark, and trust in the fact that neither are permanent states of being. This too shall pass.
Blessings and mess (oh so much mess) x