There’s a fine line that I have seen social media and podcasts and documentaries tiptoe along as of late – and that’s within the concept of radical self acceptance. Accepting (and consequently loving) yourself is key to happiness and is the cornerstone of EVERY healthy relationship (friendship, lovers, marriage, whatevs). The whole premise of acceptance is acknowledgement and a “yep, this is me” towards who we are. But where does acceptance end, and complacency begin? Do you surrender and say “well this is just who I am and I can’t change it?”. And, conversely, do people who are ever seeking, forever with their nose in the latest personal development book, listening to every self help podcast under the sun, do these people lack self acceptance because they are constantly striving to manipulate who they are and how they interact with their world? Like an incredible dish, a 9 from Pete and Manu but just needing that extra oomph to give it “perfection status”, I think we need to add just a little ingredient to seal the deal. A pinch of accountability.
I have a new (well reignited – it’s been here a while) love affair with the concept of accountability. Being totally acknowledging of our own power, choice and participation in all aspects of our lives. It’s the single biggest determiner of shifting from pessimism to optimism (in my not so humble opinion) as it reinforces that life is moving with us, and not working against us as so many of us hosting pity parties tend to buy into. Life is conscious collaboration, we ask and the universe delivers. She doesn’t always deliver exactly what we want though – she only does IF what we want is for our highest good. Ever had something you totally thought was “right” or that you wanted, fall apart and leave you screaming “dear God whyyyyy?” only to later realise just how perfectly timed and serendipitous that collapse was in the rebirth of something even better? Yep. Highest good.
So, how do we then harness this sense and quality of accountability to better our relationships with ourselves? Like avocado and lemon, falafel and hommus, kale and … everything, accountability has itself a perfect pairing. Self acceptance and accountability are the ultimate powerhouse duo, second only to Megan and Harry, and are the catalyst for incredible change. It starts with total acknowledgment of where you are (an honest evaluation not a “oh I’m totally capable of running a marathon tomorrow if I really wanted to, I just don’t want to”) and, get ready, acceptance of your staying there. If you were to do everything in your power to build an empire, get more fit, find the perfect relationship, start that family – whatever your personal goals may be – and yet still weren’t able to reach them, would this be ok? I honestly believe that this breakthrough – realising that if I was to live out the rest of my days as a single pringle, and that my life would still be as glorious, love soaked, happy and adventurous as anyone else’s – was what led the universe to sending a pretty frickin dynamite relationship my way. Sure, recognising what you want and having a vision of your ideal is great, but acceptance in its non arrival or openness to it looking a little different is imperative to our happiness and growth. If you’ve got an idea of where you are, and a vision for where you’d like to be, where can you honestly and accountably make changes in your day to day life? Wishing that I had a rig like Yoncé isn’t going to build me a booty, no matter how many manifestation meditations I do. We need to be totally accountable of our own power, our ability to learn and grow and seek knowledge and commit to change.
Accountability and self acceptance allows you to see, with love, where you are and subsequently where you can CHOOSE to go. They allow you to recognise where your choices have led you in the past and where you can guide them (that’s right – you steering bae!) to take you next.
Blessings and so much acceptance (and a fire cracker of a vision fuelling me on top) x