The last time I was single, I was a teenager. I was an eighteen year old who had no idea of who she was, what she wanted, what she was worth, where she was going … but she was lucky enough to find a boy//man who was an amazing person, who helped her to find herself and with whom she embarked on an eight year adventure.
Now? The teenager is 27. She is a pretty passionate, clever, determined and strong woman. She is down to earth, she knows what she values in life and she knows what she doesn’t. She has spent years nurturing her relationship with herself so that, when the time comes when a new man waltzes into her life, he will be there because he truly enriches her (already pretty incredible) life.
I feel like, until you’ve lived it, break ups are like crazy cliched environments that you never truly know how you will go handling it. I thought I would eat a shit-tonne of icecream, watch the saddest of movies and feel generally terrible for months and months on end. Some of that is true, and some of it is so far from the truth. I have cried, I have laughed, I have eaten coconut icecream from the tub and watched ‘He’s Just Not that Into You’; I have danced with my girlfriends; I have meditated; I have spent time with family; I have visited the beach (my church) nearly every day …
Break ups, being single and thus not having a ‘partner’ often go hand in hand with preconceptions of people giving pity, of them offering a reassuring ‘oh don’t worry, the right one is around the corner’, of them heartbroken for you and your loneliness. And I totally get this, I do. I know that this concern and compassion truly do come from a place of love. I know that it’s solely through loving the shit out of me that people want what’s best for me and want me to experience ‘love‘.
But here is the thing.
I am really starting to see this bumpy little off road venture as something truly magical. This time is so very sacred. Never before have I had such a clear understanding of who I am and what I want from life, and now I have the unrestricted and resource rich opportunity to explore this giant playground. Sure, I have carried (and still do carry) a super heavy heart – but I have chosen to see my heart as weighed down with fond memories, the joy and bliss of knowing that I have felt true and profound love and now, to view this new chapter as an incredible blessing and gift to myself. Emily in 10 years will likely be a wife and mother (and probably the CEO of a highly successful wellness company and a bestselling author) and she might not have the time, energy or space to be able to live life as she desires every single day. But present day Emily does. And present day Emily is choosing not to waste a dang, precious little, minute of it.
So here is to seizing the day, playing the cards you’ve been dealt and grabbing life by it’s giant, low hanging balls. Let’s do this.
Blessings and single love x