Preface – This post was written last night when I was feeling very overwhelmed and it came at the end of a rather stressful day. I’ve had to make a few house related decisions and I have fast realised that I don’t do so well when the pressure comes a-pilin’ on and my sidekick isn’t around! I umm-ed and uhh-ed about whether or not to post this and decided to ‘sleep on it’. I woke feeling a lot better about everything but still think that this post is one that deserves to be shared. It shows that life doesn’t always seem easy or even manageable all of the time – but it also shows that by changing perspectives you can ensure that you feel a lot more ‘settled’ and calm about whatever situation you might be facing. Please know that I’m now very happy and calm and in control of how I’m feeling so this post definitely DOES have a happy ending! I actually believe that the simple process of writing exactly how I was feeling was a catalyst in turning it around and feeling a little more at peace. This post may not be for everybody and it definitely differs from my typical ‘genre’ of writing I guess – but it’s unapologetically me x
Current State of = Overwhelm; Paranoia; Distress; Uncertainty; Fear.
Since starting this blog and embarking on my ‘wellness journey’ I have tried to adopt new and more optimistic perspectives – however at times the reality of life and everyday worries and stresses can still take hold of me.
In the past 12 months (or so) the following BIG ASS changes have occurred in my life
+ moved out of home
+ moved in with boyfriend
+ started working in a small rural community
+ purchased a private practice
+ lived alone, on and off, for 6 months (during boyfriend’s 4 and 1 roster)
+ got a dog
+ been away from family and friends (for the longest period to date)
+ managed a number of roles in volunteer groups and interest based groups
+ started a blog
+ purchased our first house
In all honesty – I am tearing up as I type this and, at the same time, am overwhelmed with a sense of relief ‘ugh, no wonder I am stressed!’. The past 12 months have been HUGE and I am so grateful and proud that I have come out the other side of it and I look back at the things that I have achieved and smile – but eff me that’s a long list of changes. With these amazing changes and experiences comes a hell of a lot of commitments and it loudly calls for independence. Having never been someone who stands confidently on her own two feet, this monumental influx of new responsibilities has near paralysed me and I think is the reason for a few ‘run down’ sicknesses as of late.
I am, by nature, a stresser. This is perhaps why D and I work so well together – I overanalyse and stress for the both of us, and he’s the one that calms me down and rationally breaks down the issues and shows me just how ‘do-able’ everything is. But at the moment I’m ridin’ solo and I don’t have D in my ear telling me that we will get through it and that there’s nothing to worry about. So … cue stress hormones and over-active imagination (‘what if I can never go away on a holiday or never buy anything ever because I’m a slave to the mortgage?!’ or ‘What if people realise I am a terrible speech pathologist and my practice goes bust!?’).
I completely acknowledge that these are irrational and fear based thoughts and serve me no purpose at all. By writing this post today, I am attempting to witness my fear and, by doing so, make them seem insignificant and obsolete. I’m sorry you have to read through my therapeutic ramblings but in writing this blog I want to share uplifting and inspirational messages with you – but also want to maintain a completely honest and a genuine narration. Life isn’t always perfect and you don’t always ‘feel’ like being happy and doing affirmations and choosing to see the ‘upside’ BUT I do know that how I’m currently feeling is likely detrimental to my health and just a plain ole’ nasty way to feel so …
I’m-a wave my positivity wand and practice my LOVING perspective and kick ole fear to the kerb. Care to join me?
Letter to Myself – a love note and much needed reminder
Hello darling
I know life is fairly ridiculous at the moment but know that everything in your life is the result of the choices you have made along the way! YOU have created this life and would you have created a shitty life? Heck no! It’s a little overwhelming but let’s break it down and crank some affirmations for different areas of our life – they always tend to help us!
+ Career – I AM passionate about my career and it reflects in monetary reward; My practice is booming with more than enough business.
+ Finances – I prosper wherever I turn and I know that I deserve prosperity of all kinds; My income is constantly increasing.
+ Travel – I have the means to travel abroad whenever I want.
+ Peace – Everything I need comes to me in the right time/space sequence; I trust the process of life. All is well in my world; I am ALWAYS safe.
+ General – I think and speak positively.
Calm down, seek perspective, trust the universe, trust yourself and get excited. Life is a gift and we need to appreciate every single aspect of it.
Love from me (you) xx
Blessings from my completely stream-of-consciousness posting style x
Love your honesty hun, we all have times like this and acknowledging it is part of dealing with it, accepting it and moving on 🙂 xxx